Fuck My Life

WARNING* The below content is gonna bore you to death, so please click the X on the top right hand corner of your window if you think you don't wanna read my nonsense whines. =)

*Everything that has been said, is solely my own opinions and it does not represents anyone*



FML. I thought things were suppose to get better as my life starts to become normal again. But apparently not, perhaps, I still need some time to get used to working and coping with school as well. But its kinda taking its tool on me, when I first decided to leave NWH, its partly also because I felt that I cannot cope with working and studying together, so I decided to just study. Too bad my savings could only last me this long before I need to get back to the uber stressful working and studying at the same time life.

This is only just the third day, and my new responsibilities are still the more simple ones, and I already can't take it anymore, and felt like so much time has been taken away from me. Coming back, seeing the pile of unwashed clothes, and how messy my room is, I'm really so annoyed at myself for not being able to manage my time well. And it totally sucks when you feel that you've lost control over your life. Ok, I know this is like the simplest thing, and I'm getting so uptight about it which is so Duh....... But I really hate it, and now, having to think of shifting my room, having to get new stuffs, means more money needs to be used, and I've got none, with those stupid reminders coming in stating unpaid bills, I really feel like shit, and daddy can't help me much on these, I really feel like shit.

Sometimes, I really just feel like dying, Ok, its stupid to have suicidal thoughts, but then again, who doesn't have them! Its just that I only have thoughts about dying and I'll never have the courage to do so la. But sometimes, I really feel so suffocated, I've got so much things on my mind, and so much responsibilities on me, and plus, I'm only twenty three, which I sometimes think that, I don't deserve this life I'm having now. And I know I can't be like those twenty threes you usually see on streets, because, I can't reverse all things that has happened, and NO, there is totally NO such thing as a TIME MACHINE.

Yea, whining and whining is all I do, I should do something to make my life better right? Ya, duh... of course I know that, but everything takes time! And making my life a better one to me is equals to being more capable and earn more money, because, the only way to make my life better is to earn more money. And NO, No, I won't have naive thoughts of "Oh! Find a rich man and marry him, and my life would be better! =) " That is total bullshit. Girls who thinks that finding a rich man, and marrying him, will make your life better, is STUPID.

Women, should earn their own keep, be rich, successful and all men will go under you, and you'll be the one above him, and then, your man, will behave himself, and learn to cherish you, or maybe even work harder than you, so that he'll have his pride, and then, TA DAH! You both will be rich! Then you'll both be happy, and even if either of you decides to dump the other first, you don't have to whine and cry and feels that its the end of the world! Why? Because you still have your MONEY! HAHA! That's the new generation "Happily Ever After"

So you still believe in fairy tales?

Well, I don't anymore.